Iconic

But i don’t want to knock media commentators - especially Bruce McErvaney - i love Bruce - he’s so passionate … about … sports entertainment … heee’s  … : 

Iconic

When i left Australia in 96, an icon was a statuette of The Blessed Virgin Mary - or Jesus  -  Dying-on-the-Cross … for our sins … ! 

When i arrived back,  it’d come to mean: vaguely representative of … something ... anything … so long as it’s commercial

Coming up next: the real life story of an Iconic Aussie breakfast-show-host who can’t stop saying:   Iconic

With other overused words - it’s fine - i don’t care - some  i like  when they first emerge  - they capture the zeitgeist of our Orwellian ….. : 

dystopia

But iconic - yeah, i do actually have a mental/physical … :  

health condition 

When i hear it, it’s ….. : 

triggering

This condition involves:  shortness of breath, a tightening in the chest …  & ...  projectile…. :

vomit

So here’s a reality check - for our peeps in the front row: the following may contain ….. : 

graphic content

Last Saturday, late-morning, i went to Bunnings to buy a door-handle 

I got a good park, as normal 

As soon as i stepped out of the car, i could smell the iconic  ….. : 

Bunnings sausage & onion sanga 

I followed that smell, Homer Simpson-style, then ate one in the iconic carpark.  It’s so spacious …  

I gazed up at the teal-green & orange-red color scheme of this huge Tin Shed.  It stirred something deep inside me (rub stomach) … this modern Aussie Church … with its iconic image of …… : 

The Hammer

Instead of … The Cross

It looks rather sinister … now i think about it …   

If you’re gonna replace Jesus-nailed-to-the-cross as an Icon … &  your symbol is: The Hammer  …  it’s a bit ….. :

tone-deaf 

Step-right-in - you can buy The Nails inside - or hey, why not upgrade ..? To a nail-gun … !

Feeling somewhat uneasy,  i entered the store. That was the …. :  sliding doors moment (figuratively - Bunnings doesn’t have sliding doors - it has shutters)

I do remember thinking, as i gripped the iconic XL trolley & yanked it out:  Turn back … it’s not too late 

My gut instinct was telling me:  You’ve had a gut-full of of sausage fat, & iconic thoughts.   Step-the-fuck-away from Icon Town

Serendipitously, a friendly, bearded, Bunnings salesperson appeared - totally iconicly 

He kindly accompanied me to aisle number 13 … the door handle aisle

This is a good but not too expensive brand we stock, he said, holding up a Bunnings/made-in-China door-handle  

It’s called … Ikonic

That was the tipping-point, right there  

A perfect  …..  : 

storm ….    

of sausage & onion … gone ….. : 

mad

He was shocked … i was mortified.   He was a really noice iconic guy … who  reacted … not toooo bad … considering   

Thank the Lord Jesus … in a blue shawl -  he was wearing his iconic Bunnings ….. : 

apron  

… which turned out to be his saviour 

Disclaimer: the above may or may not have happened as described - it could just be my self-serving …:

narrative