Child Application
riff/cross-pollination on Dan's Refuser - set somewhere between now & then
Photo: Getty
The App
Hi, my name is Mike - I would like to apply to have a child …
That’s great Mike! What’s your full name & date of birth?
Mike Ri…
Please, look at the camera when you speak.
Sorry, Mike Rifono R-I F-O-N-O, August 10, 1996
Your address there Mike?
#8 Miomwurk street, Zone 13
Oh, nice demographics! Your’re 27, your Zone is marked Watch & Act, which is standard, so you automatically qualify to apply … Now i’m sending you a code …
Yep, got it.
Great. Enter the code into your BioSensor device, then hold the BioSensor against your head between your ear & your eye
Does it matter which side?
No, it doesn’t matter. When you press the button, you’ll hear a beep, hold for 3 seconds, you’ll hear another longer beep - you’re done
(Beep Beeeep)
Cool, let’s take a look … it’s coming up on the screen now … give me a few …hmm, ohr, your social credit’s a green-light for a start, so that’s really good … income is mid-range, no criminal record, no history of protesting, no online views contrary to Natural Order… Your compliance levels - they’re all excellent …
Thanks! I do try to be a good citizen …
Now, your Biosensory results ….. Ohrr … your DNA report’s been flagged, it says: subject will … uhm … it says you're genetically destined to become deceased, Mike - in your 50s, due to a VAA.
A VAA?
Vaccine Accumulated Allergy. Sorry Mike, i know that’s not good news personally, going forward …
Yeah, no, I … Really? In my 50s? Whoa, that’s … Can i apply for a Vax-exemption - given … you know … the medical … uhm … prognosis …?
Technically you could - but exemptions are not easy to get - THE ORG doesn’t want to create a loop-hole for Vaccine Hesitancy … it’s more important than ever that we listen to THE Experts …
Sure, but-
Then, of course, your compliance score would drop significantly, Mike
You could forget about having a child …
(Sighs) Is it late 50s … or …?
Sorry Mike, that’s not something i’m authorized to disclose …
I see. Yes, you’re only doing your job, which i’m thankful for, but i’m only 27, if i get to 57, my kid will be 30 … an adult … i can still …
I understand Mike, but it’s not me who makes the decision, i only feed it into The Algorithm. But, really, don’t overthink it at this point, it’s not a total disaster for your application. It’s not ideal, but it doesn’t auto-rule you out either - your behavioural input is first-rate, … let’s wait, see what it says … I’m inputting your data now …
Ok, you’re right. Sorry, if i sounded … questioning … I … Why worry about things you can’t control …?
Exactly Mike, i’m rooting for you… just getting your expectations aligned - i want to be truthful with you, it could go either way …
(Mike Sighs) Sure, I understand.
Ok, here we go … and .. you …: Passed!
Yes!!!
You will be matched to a genetically compatible marriage Mike - congratulations!
Thank you, thank you. Praise be to THE Algorithm!
Now, would you be looking at a Breeder or a Neutral?
Breeder or Neutral?
(under construction)
Ahrr, i’m, uhm …. I was thinking Breeder, so uhm … i don’t know much about Neutrals … can you talk me through the options …?
No problem Mike. A Neutral, which … hold on … i’m getting an alert on my screen - ooh! - there’s a promotion on right now, for one-month-only, on: Neutrals
Ok …
It’s free VT for life, Mike! VT is …
I know - Vocational Training - that's the best kind …Wow!
There’s also a free upgrade to Deluxe Hybrid - all certified by THE Science
Oh, that's impressive! Really? The Deluxe?
You heard right! It’s your lucky day
Do any of those add-ons apply to Breeders right now?
Not at this stage. You could wait, but there’s talk of another tax-hike at the next budget on non-essential Breeders- due to THE Crisis. I wouldn't be holding my breath. But you’re still free to choose. It’s completely up to you …
Hmm…
Even though a Neutral can’t reproduce, which some people still see as a negative, it’s actually a strength. Think about it: their brains are unclouded by sex-thoughts! Ask Freud how much time we waste thinking about sex? Here’s an opportunity to take all of that out of the equation from the get-go …
Ohr, ok, that makes sense - never thought about it like that …
A panel of Experts found that Neutrals are more likely to have successful careers in THE Natural Order. Throw in the free VT, plus Hybrid-upgrades - for life - those chances only increase …
Yeah i was just thinking about, you know, living on through my kids’ kids
Yeah, people say that but it’s not as great as its made out
Sure your kids remember you their whole life, your grandkids will have some memory, but after that, it’s bye bye
That’s true - i don’t know anything about my great grandfather.
You know what, you seem like a great guy Mike, i’m gonna recommend we start your Neutral off with 1000 social-credit points! How does that sound?
Sounds like a no-brainer to me! I’m sold! Let’s do this: One Neutral, please.
Done. Good decision. All you need to do now is Digi-sign the consent form, upload your sperm-sample at your nearest GeneBank booth, we’ll get your baby-ball rolling in no time …
Cool
Was there anything else we could help you with today?
Nah, that covers it, thanks
Thank you Mike for choosing GeneBank. You have a great rest of the day
Ok, i will. You too! Thank you. Bye. Bye